Her Name Was Linda

I've been waiting for months, actually a few years probably, to get word that her body had given out on her. I think it was late 2017 or early 2018, I found out Linda had cancer. They found a tumor, multiple tumors. The largest tumor grew to the size of a basketball and to those unknowing, it looked as if she was 9 months pregnant.

She agreed, at first anyway, to go on hospice. The doctors in Hattiesburg told her it was only a matter of time and there was no more treatment that could be done. A few weeks later I saw her and she let me know that she took herself off hospice. She wasn't dying yet. She had recruited one of her sisters to take her to a doctor in Jackson that agreed to try to remove the tumor. There was a high probability she may die, but she didn't believe that was going to happen. And somehow, it didn't.

They removed the largest tumor and some other parts of her where the cancer had spread, and though she was incredibly tiny, she survived. She continued her life, which can only be contributed to a miracle of nature and her unwillingness to just lay down and die. I have repeatedly said, she was made of something that most of us are not. She was one of the toughest people I have ever met. Linda had grit. She had to, considering all that had happened in her life. I will never forget the day I met her. My friend Danny, who passed away back in December, was the first to take me to the camp where I would first meet Linda. It was one of those days Danny wanted a ride, and he assured me he was going to a place that had people "that needed help". Funny how he never considered himself part of that group. But, I digress. The first day I met Linda she shared her entire life story. I'm not kidding. It seemed we were in their camp a day and a half, that conversation was so long. She told me all about the business her family owned and that she grew up right down the street. Over time, I met two of her sisters.

One called anytime anything went sideways. The other I met the last few months of Linda's life. Linda was living at her sister's house and she also brought along a very close friend who she had lived with on the streets for years. He tried to look after her and took care of her for many years, even through her last moments. It is worth noting, this same friend lived in the woods for years with his sick mother and cared day in and day out for her. She died in their camp, in their tent in 2019. That's a story for another day. Linda was so kind and completely free spirited. She was completely open about who she was, and I can guarantee she never apologized for it.

She had a rough, raspy voice. As a smoker many years, I'm sure that contributed. She loved hard, the best way she knew how, and she never took any nonsense from anyone. I remember having conversations about her mom dying and how incredibly hard that was for her.

We talked about her life growing up sometimes and about her many interesting, intimate relationships. We could always laugh about that, but honestly, I think she just wanted to be loved. She wanted someone to care about her and mean it. I often wonder if she realized she had that in the friend and sister that cared for her this last year of her life.

It's taken me almost a month to sit down and write this. I knew her death was imminent and yet, still I'm not sure I wanted to speak of it. I wasn't sure I wanted to add it to the 4 other lives that we lost in 2020 that were incredibly difficult to face. With that being said, I needed the world to know Linda was special. She wasn't everyone's cup of tea, so to speak, but I admired her will to live. I admired her free spirit and her unapologetic nature to be herself, even when others didn't like it.

I miss her. I know there are others that do as well. My hope is that her spirit is at peace and she has no more fear of being unloved.