Winter Solstice

The longest, darkest night of the year

My darkest night has spanned years

So many long, dark nights

Wandering in pitch blackness

People replaced by substances

Hope replaced by complacency

I hear voices, but they’re unfamiliar

Strangers that seemingly live inside me

So much chaos in my mind

So many lies I believe

Worthiness

Love

Family

Will I ever have those things?

I’m invisible

No one can see me

I’m held prisoner by my own body,

My own thoughts

The first day of winter,

It’s been cold for far too long

The dirt that covers my body

The home I don't have

Reminders of a life I once dreamed of, I once had

My vision is blurred

God, give me clarity

Give me mercy

Give me hope

Maybe I can change

Maybe there is another way

Maybe

If not,

Will anyone know I’m gone?

Will they light a candle?

Will they say I was worthy,

Loved,

Will anyone tell my story?

On the coldest and darkest of nights,

Will they remember my name.